he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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