Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize