Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
