this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They took my balls.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
