I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
