So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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