I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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