your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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