last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
