butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
