just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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