got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
