how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
