my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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