Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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