I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
only you would photoshop your dick
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
