My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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