i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
