don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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