Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
