This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
