I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
