I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
