One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
