I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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