I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
