Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize