You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
