And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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