Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
