theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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