I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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