Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
