did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
