I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
