So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
