just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
