Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
