Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
