Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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