i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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