I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
