Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
