On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
