I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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