maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
