hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize