i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
