just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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