I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize