In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just cut my nipple shaving
zippers are such a cool invention
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
