Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
