dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize