She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
not ubering you a puppy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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