Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
