You're so nebulous sometimes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the condom got lost in my hair
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
