But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
