u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
thus making me awesome and them whores
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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