Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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