Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
