Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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