I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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