I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
