Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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