you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
