you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize