Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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