i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i came on her dog
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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