Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
