This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
