He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
