do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
