he puts the penis in happiness.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
