I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
