i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
