last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
