My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
