Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
