I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
