Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
