Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is Oprah even human
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
