its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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