stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
