Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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