would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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